It had been almost a year since the divorce.God had allowed us time to “lick our wounds” for a season and now we were in Nashville, the place I believed God had brought us. I had high expectations and just knew now I would see the kids flourish and I would step into what I was supposed to do! Several months passed and NOTHING was going according to plan. There were constant delays in getting into our home, the kids were feeling the effects of all we had been through, and I was facing reality, I wasn’t seeing the promise yet!                                       I remember the very moment HE nudged open the window of hope for me… I had just dropped off the children at school and returned to the room I shared with my daughter, in the home of my dear friend. It was quiet and I was all alone. I began to weep and cry and tell God how I truly felt! I moved there on His prompting, the kids were in their own battle emotionally, and I was tired of the delays and was feeling the pressure of having to lead these children! After a moment of “pity party crying”, I heard this “Thank You”. Thank you? For what? I just sounded like a blubbering fool and God says thank you? As I lay there on the bed listening to what  would come next He says, “Tell Me thank you”.                     I immediately grabbed pen and paper and begin to write. Effortlessly the words came billowing out, and my closure song was written,” Thank You” . The chorus is this………..

Thank you for the times that we shared.            Thank you for the moments you cared.                 Thank you for the life that we had,                      Thank you for all of the good, and the bad.

God just wanted me to thank Him for all things that led me to that place. There were triumphs, disappointments, emotional highs and lows, and even shattered dreams. God had used them all to show me it had all worked together to set me where I was supposed to be. As I wept with each word written for that song, I began to feel the release of what I had been carrying for years! The wounds were no longer the weapon used to destroy me but they were becoming the scars that would strengthen me.                               Many of you may find yourself in a very similar place or circumstance I was in. Life didn’t turn out the way you thought it would. You have found yourself in a place in your life that doesn’t look like the original picture you had in your mind. Things happen, people change, and trials are promised to those of us who follow Christ. The good news is , God’s grace and mercy follows us and cover us through everything we encounter. If we don’t step outside of our “victim fog” and truly THANK HiM for the journey thus far, we will miss the beauty of the lessons  and strength we gain through everything!                Just taking the time and writing that song, I could see where I had come from and where I  had been given the tools and wisdom to go forward. From my pain and trial, a beautiful song was written, and when people hear it, healing begins for those who are in such a place.                                                               There are people waiting to hear from you! What you are experiencing, or have experienced in your life is to help and encourage those you meet along your journey. We are Gods living examples of hope and truth in this dark and hopeless world. We must see ourselves as HIS representatives and spokespersons for HIS love and truth. I encourage you to start “thanking Him” for where you are and ask Him to show you what you have gained and learned from all of the triumphs and disappointments. It is then you will see exactly how much HE loves you!

Letting go has to be one of the most challenging things to do as a human. We hold onto clothes, papers, baby teeth and broken pieces we say we will fix… even past experiences that are long gone and only present in our minds! We re-live glory days and mourn what should have been, and usually keep people in our lives we should have said good -bye to long ago.                                                               We are approaching the end of an old year, and getting ready to welcome in a new one. It’s time to clean house, hearts and minds to make room for “Next”. The bible speaks of newness many times over and we are reminded that old things are passed away and all things become new. If I am to renew my mind daily, then everyday means I get a fresh new start! Why is it so hard to let go then? Why do we want to keep reliving things that God tells us are passed?                  This journey called life has many facets to the adventure. We meet people over the years who inspire, teach, mold and even hurt us. We dream big, we lose big. We love much and break our hearts in the process. We raise children and release them to do “their thing”. Life is a constant receiving and releasing! Letting go is just as important as receiving a new idea or letting someone new into our lives.                      In my journey, I believe the hardest thing I had to learn to do was how to let a dream die and to let go of how I thought it should look.           When you are given a dream, a vision, or a relationship, you begin to pour all of your faith, time and emotion into molding it into what you see. This becomes your life’s ambition and the “thing” you believe is yours to be a steward over. Suddenly something happens out of your control, you lose the job, someone dies, divorce, broken promises… suddenly it’s  spinning away and disappearing from your sight! This “thing” you were given words about, you know that you know you were supposed to do, it’s gone and now you want me to let it go?                       This journey we call life has many unexplainable and “only God knows why” moments . We, as His children, have to trust him with those times. We do however, have to release and let go of these things so we can position ourselves for the new things He has for us. If we insist on holding onto something longer then we should, we may miss the new way or new person God has for us. The vision God has for us doesn’t change, we just have to understand that the people and the “how to’s” can be exchanged! God is not a man that He should lie, we just have to keep listening and be flexible to how HE will make it come to pass! Had I stopped at the disappointment and held on to “what was”, I wouldn’t be here today! God is still doing what HE promised, he is just doing it through another avenue!                       I encourage you, if you will just let go of what has long been gone and is dead, HE will give you a new way, avenue, or even bring someone else! We don’t forget what we learned through what is gone, we honor it and we appreciate those people, places and times we had in our journey. Let go as we leave this year, expect a renewal and a hope for the new that awaits for you just ahead. We must first say good-bye before we can say hello.

Recently I had a counseling session with a young couple who were dating and I listened to what each of them had to say about “the issue” at hand. I let them talk, or should I say accuse and attack, and after about 5 minutes of the continuous absence of consideration for each other, I stepped in. Neither person was hearing the other and for me it was creating an atmosphere of drama and chaos. It was obvious, they were depending on the other person to make them happy and to feel good about who they were! Needless to say, our moments left together were about just that……… You can’t give the power of your happiness to anyone, you will always lose that battle!                               I wish someone would have told me that earlier, I might of thought a little better of myself or made different choices. It’s everyone’s desire to be happy, isn’t that what we all say to ourselves? I challenge you to ask yourself what do you  think “happy” is? I believe it’s simply to have peace and comfort in knowing you are doing and being what you are supposed to be. With that said, it has nothing to do with someone else, it’s my journey and revelation of who I am and what God has for me to do!         The truth is, there is no way anyone can help us to be happy if we truly don’t know who we are. We should never give someone the power to our happiness, it’s not theirs to have in the first place. If I know who I am and where I am supposed to go, no one will be able to change my direction.                                                   Getting to “that place” takes time and the willingness to be alone with God and self. Most of us don’t want to wait that long. I believe this is why most of us are in  relationships that are dysfunctional, co-dependent, or just plain draining! We didn’t do it on purpose, we did it out of desire, fear, hurt or just plain loneliness. The good news is if you are single, you can still take the time and really search and ask God to show you “You”! He can comfort the loneliness and give you the wisdom where you need to re-in force the weak spots. It isn’t easy, but the time spent now with HIM, will save you a faith-walk later in getting out of a bad situation! If you are married, God can do anything that two people are in agreement about. The key word, agreement….. I’m not going to sugar coat this, sometimes flesh decisions can be the hardest faith walks ever! We have to die to our flesh choices and trust God, as a married couple, we both end up agreeing and walk it out together.                                         Wherever your journey finds you now, God can still show you who YOU are to HIM. If we take the time to really seek these things, the people in our lives won’t have the power to control our happiness. We will be happy in knowing who we are supposed to be and that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing! People who are truly happy, they attract the “right” kind of people!

Why did this happen? How many times have we asked ourselves this question? As Christians, we know we have trials and tribulations, but some of these trials just don’t add up! What we may be facing now, our mind can’t even wrap itself around how to deal with it or even face it!                          This is where you decide… is God sovereign? Is HE in control or not? I have been there, I knew God healed, delivered, and I saw the miraculous with my own eyes. But my problem, this problem can’t be fixed? The pain, is this going to kill me? Will I ever smile, laugh, love, hope, and actually feel again? I knew that I knew I had dotted every I and crossed every T , all as a true faith- believing Christian, but I wasn’t seeing it work out the way I wanted it to!                                                             These are moments we face in our lives, where our true “trust” in God is tested. It was in one of those moments I realized,  it wasn’t about believing in God, but trusting in HIM to handle the “unknowns” of  what I had no control over. There is always something you can’t control. The truth is , we don’t control everything! A man or woman’s decision to leave, a disobedient teen-ager , a boss, or even an illness that attacks our physical body, no control. Now I’m in a position to see if I truly TRUST in GOD!                                                Many of you are there right now and it seems hopeless, you are even trying to blame yourself for someone else’s choices. STOP and tell HIM, “this is too big for me, it’s out of my control”! Your act of submission and vulnerability is one that positions you to receive Gods love and healing power. It may not turn out how you thought it would. This doesn’t mean you love God less, or that you have little faith. It simply means there are things in this life that only our Soverign God has complete knowledge over. This journey is definitely one full of bumps and challenges, but if we truly trust God, we are never alone and we will forever be comforted through what we don’t understand.

Thank God I got through yesterday…if it wasn’t one thing it was another! It was one of those days I was really contemplating just staying inside and not attempt anything new or adventurous! Have you ever felt like that? Maybe life feels that way now.
Everywhere we look there is such chaos and turmoil. People have somehow felt entitled to criticize and tear down human life and judge anything that breathes! A kind word is rarely heard and what a miracle it would be to actually hear a compliment! This world has lost the ability to be kind , encouraging or hopeful!
This time of year we seem to be a little more aware of others. We remember friends and family so we may “feel” a little more, but what about the rest of the year? It’s so easy to get caught up in “our problems” that we can become blinded to what’s….Just around the corner.
Life can be a bully and the enemy has
nothing but lies and false promises, so why do we let that determine our journey? If we really believe God has us in HIS hands then why do we allow ourselves to stop, shut down, or just stay put? I know many of us have had long and painful journey’s so far, but we are still here! Trust me, I have had several moments where I just couldn’t take one more piece of bad news or
have to figure out any more problems! I had to absolutely, without a visual, trust that God had my life in control! If I had stopped and not gone …just around the corner, I wouldn’t of found that hope, or joy, or have discovered the solution. The bible says God didn’t give us the spirit of fear, but power, love and a sound mind. If I truly and honestly believe HE means that, I have a duty to not stop and to keep going
“Just around the corner”
We cannot even imagine all that God has for us, just around the corner. The people we can help, the opportunities ahead of us……. the difference we can make in this hopeless world!

Waiting , waiting, waiting, that is all I seem to be doing! I’m sure many of you can say the same thing , I’m still waiting!
Recently I was having a conversation with God , taking a moment to whine and victimize my current status of wait, to only be told this……..”The wait
isn’t because of you, it’s for those you are joined to!” WHAT???? Of course as a believer , I immediately check myself for sin and mistakes and then HE calms me so I can understand.
There are times when we seemingly go around the same mountain only to realize WE are the problem. This time of ” WAIT” is different. Each of us have a journey and a path we are called to walk on and it intersects with people daily. There are relationships that are seasonal and happen so you can learn and be encouraged .
Intimate personal relationships , the kind that become a joint destiny together, requiring many seasons of waiting until you are one in thought and purpose. There are the ones we connect with to simply get an assignment done. The trouble is, we don’t all grow equally or at the same rate in our faith and believing.
In other words, some of our waiting is because we are joined with others that are not where we may be in our faith walk. Some of us can hit a wall once and we will never do it again, others are a little more hard-headed and stubborn! Many times we cut people off thinking ,they are the stumbling block , keeping us from getting our promise , the job or new assignment! The time of waiting you are in now ,may just mean you have to take the time to encourage and strengthen those you are connected with , not abandon them!
Sometimes we can misread Gods ways and be quick to forget grace and mercy! The wait can be put to good use and we can learn and grow wiser in our wait. If you are in a time of waiting take a moment and look around…. you may be waiting on the ones whom you are connected with to learn something you have already grasped. You may be the one who needs the strength and the time to grow, if so, pull from those around you ,those you are connected to. Instead of mourning and murmuring through the “Wait” pause and see where you may need to undergird your connections. The truth is , we all want to be ready when the wait is over and we don’t want to miss or lose the connections we need. So if you think about it , you aren’t really waiting , you are doing what is necessary in your wait! Encouraging self and others to be stronger for the next phase of this amazing journey called LIFE!

Here we are, just weeks before the end of another year, and like never before, what’s next? I know in my life, I am certainly looking at a place in my physical, mental and spiritual existence I have never been! It may be age, journey, or just an ” aha moment”, but it’s just not
about me anymore!
In my younger years it was all about trying to go after what I believed were my dreams and desires. My thoughts and my time were spent on figuring out this insecure girl by not allowing the imperfections to show or be seen! The endless diets, excercising, and explanations I gave as to “why I was like this” , all given so you wouldn’t see that I really didn’t know ME!
Now, sitting here as a 50 year old divorced woman, mother of 3 grown children and soon to be 4 grandchildren, it’s never really
about just YOU! Every tear, broken dream, disappointment and stupid mistake, it was never just about ME!! This journey full of bumps and heartaches is where we obtain the knowledge of who and why God really made us… for others! All these years of trying to figure out “self” and it was really about “self” being quiet enough for me to see others!
This next year is going to be a very challenging year for those with no hope or faith in knowing God has them covered. It is up to us, those who are imperfect and have made mistakes along the way, to be the love and encouragement to hurting and broken people. The bible says they will know we are Christians by our love…… What do people see when they meet you?
For this imperfect and “real woman”, 2015 is going to be about being vulnerable and transparent for the well- being of others! It’s not about me, but it is about using my life, the one that’s not “so perfect”, to encourage someone else in their journey. Those of us who are still here to tell of our moments, stop and look around , there is always someone who can benefit from your experiences. Yes, this is definitely a “New Journey” for this woman, but it’s one that I will endeavor with gratitude and humility. May my life bring hope to those who have none, and confirmation to others who are sensing the same!