Waiting, waiting, waiting… That is all I seem to be doing is waiting! If I haven’t said it once I have said
it hundreds of times! Many of us can probably say this is exactly where we are! We have a promise, an idea, even a plan, but we are stuck at waiting!
I haven’t learned it all, nor am I finished processing through my own personal journey, but I have been given a nugget. Through many of my”around the same mountain ” trips, God started speaking a simple statement…”Who are you connected to?” This wasn’t the same implication
Of being joined to the “wrong person” but take a step back, observe, and really pay attention to why are you joined with those around you.
There are people throughout our lives that we divinely meet and those we simply choose to connect with because we believe we are supposed to. I know in my own life, there have been times God has impressed upon my heart to reach out to an individual for a season, just to be there for them as they grow. There are others that HE has divinely connected me to to get something done here on earth that may be a life long connection.
The nugget that was so calmly spoken was this….. ” You are waiting because you are joined to someone who isn’t ready yet.” WHAT???? You see, each of us develop our faith and belief at different rates and through different circumstances. Some of us don’t have to get hit over the head more than once,but there are others who are just plain stubborn and hard- headed! This doesn’t necessarily refer to a personal romantic relationship, it can be a business associate, a friend or even a family member. The truth is , we need to
examine why we may be waiting just a little closer. The time of waiting doesn’t have to mean a denial, nor is it always a warning of sin or a mistake made. The time of waiting could just very well be a moment to give the one you are connected to time to grow, build up their strength, and become faith compatible with you! Instead of mourning and murmuring … Encourage, lift up and strengthen those who are joined to you. If your the one who needs the encouragement, listen to those around you, let them strengthen you until you stand taller and can smile
more confidently! Waiting can be a useful and restorative time in our lives. While you are waiting, become the listener, the encourager and truly allow God to shed insight on
all of the connections in your life. Time is better used when we allow ourselves to become more aware of others and grow a little wiser through the wait!

If you are like me, you are seemingly floating between a word from God and the manifestation of its truth. A perplexing balance of obedience, trust and patience. It’s not a comfortable place and definitely not an exciting one either. There are things God has shown me that are supposed to take place in my own life and I know I’m not alone.

There is so much “noise” resonating around us, that standing true to wait on HIS promise can get us to question if we even heard correctly. The constant chatter of opinions and self doubt try to get us to abort our promise before it is even seen.

The world around us is charged with restlessness, fatigue, doubt, hate and rebellion. Moral principle with Godly values are not even allowed to surface for air. The church has become divided allowing political opinions with racial undertones to separate us from our brothers and sisters. The world of technology has imprisoned us to isolation and made everyone a prophet and voice of their own opinion. We are no longer moved by the hurt or pain of someone unless it’s gone viral. Social media has become our guide to truth.

Years ago judgement came to the church and we saw many a ministry shaken by the media exposing the flaws of men. Today the flaws of the secular world are being revealed and disclosed. There is a shaking and shifting in all that the world trusted. Leadership resigning, companies having to acknowledge immoral oversights and shake ups in every tier. These tiers touch every aspect of the secular world. From products having to be recalled to the famous being exiled from Hollywood.

There is a shifting and a tearing down of the things people have held trust in. We are in a period of time where the dust has not settled because all isn’t done yet. God is removing the obstacles that have held back HIS truth and HIS people from infiltrating the systems of this world.

Your delay is not a denial of the promise but a strategic plan of God. There are people that must be removed so that your employer can see you, the very one that has been speaking life to that business all along. People need to move out of that house so that God can move you in, for HE promised you a home. The systems of this world must become more vulnerable and frail. As they are stripped of their strength, God will begin to open doors for HIS people and promises HE promised will begin to manifest.

The hold up is just HIS wise strategy to get HIS sons and daughters into the places HE has promised. I encourage you, “Don’t be weary in well-doing”…… Now is the time to rest in HIM and to strengthen yourselves for the road ahead. The journey before you is full of HIS promises to you.

As I get older, the self reflection and searching for truth that relates to my life and those I have produced, becomes more pin pointed and humble. I have always been a person moved by responsibility and accountability so why wouldn’t my thinking? These trials and situations must have something to do with me. What part have I played in the world I live in and the family I have been part in creating?

My decisions have been made based upon “feelings of purpose”, gifting, calling and straight desires. I was blessed to get my spiritual education and understanding during a move of the Holy Spirit through the 80’s and 90’s. I experienced God in HIS mercy and watched HIM provide for my family when only HE could. I’ve been present when cancers were healed, dead men raised and the gang member and drug dealer saved. I truly was blessed to see and witness all of God’s beautiful attributes.

I faced the crumbling of a Christian marriage, knowing God could do anything but the result ended in divorce. I have walked beside children dealing with change, hurt, loss and just plain puberty. I went from the pulpit to the pew in a matter of days. I walked through the journey of a child with substance abuse and the reasons as to “why”. I have watched my personal opinions be challenged by the very existence of what I was living. What is the reason for all of this Lord? Yes I know we will have trials and tribulations but why, why so much?

The scripture “to whom much is given much is required ” has always been one to permeate through my journey. Surely all of this because God has so much for me to do!!!!! I have been taught if I speak to my mountain, it will be moved. Watch my words, speak life not death. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Faith without works is dead. All of these are true, these are Gods words and HE backs them! So why all the challenges and the seemingly uphill climbing?

Simply put…….. Its Never Been About You! This life is not about us. It is a journey that prepares us to be vessels used for God’s glory and purpose. We have allowed selfishness to creep into even the Christian mindset. We have been so set to understand our purpose and call that we have forgotten it is about what HE wants. All my trials, disappointments, hurts, losses…… all to prepare me to be more sensitive, aware and broken so I may be used. How will I recognize someone’s pain if I have never experienced it before. As I walk with God through it, I can direct them to the ONE that carried me to the other side of the pain. This journey isn’t to glorify me but to magnify HIM! I truly understand the sacrifice of our Lord and savior Jesus, it wasn’t about him, that was about us! What better example to see before our eyes then to see HIS life played out before us. All HE went through was for us, why would our pain be any different, it’s for someone else.

Looking at life through my “grown up” eyes is an ever evolving and always changing thing. Truthfully, I am where I NEVER thought or imagined I would be. The life I am living, has the mosaic pieces of everything I have lived until now, placed in the most amazing and colorful ways.

I grew up before social media, and cell phones were not affordable until I already started having my family. Communication as a teen and young adult, it was based on trust. Your parents believed you were where you said you were and curfews were hopefully obeyed. Did we do that, not always but there were consequences to not doing as you were told.

As I made choices and my life inevitably had to “own up” to those choices, my parents allowed me to face or deal with the results. Was it easy? NO! Comfortable, heavens no, but necessary, so necessary. The absence of social media and easy access didn’t allow my parents to hover or stalk my every move. I had to learn to deal with conflict and disappointment, which in turn made me see how I truly needed God in my life.

We are all familiar with how a caterpillar is in a cocoon and when it’s time for it to become a butterfly, the struggle begins. No one is there to assist. The caterpillar’s battle is real and I’m sure at times it must feel as if it won’t survive. It presses through the discomfort and when it emerges……. the beauty overshadows the struggle. The caterpillar can now “be” what it was meant to be, a beautiful butterfly. Why do we as parents, friends, mentors and leaders interfere with another’s caterpillar moment?

I am a parent, a mentor, a friend, a sister, a coworker……. I am faced daily with how much do I help. Our world says “how can you ignore?” “How can you turn your head?” I get it, we have lost the recognition of the importance of tension and conflict. A mother knows it’s time to push when the contractions are coming endlessly. It’s time to go to the dentist when your face has swollen and the throbbing is beyond compare. You know to stop eating when your clothes no longer fit. Tension and conflict signal to us it’s time to make choices/ decisions and own them! Why do we make excuses or compensate for bad behavior, selfishness and disrespect? These conflict facing moments prompt us to see we are not enough in ourselves and we need to look up. What an injustice I do to my own children to answer all the issues and fix the problem and shield them from life. I would be making them co-dependent on me, so therefore I would have to be their life support. When I’m gone, they would implode! We are living in a world today where codependency is the norm, disguised as compassion and unconditional love.

We must ask ourselves, how much do I help and where do I allow them to feel the discomfort. Anxiety has become rampant because we have soothed away the honest feeling of conflict and pain. Anxiety is the feeling that paralyzes us when we are afraid of something we don’t know or don’t like. We have kept children, friends, relatives, co workers away from the thing necessary to grow up, all in the name of making it better. These are emotions necessary to grow and cause us to develop the skills to live beyond the dependence of another human. God intended for us to feel our conflicts and despair and turn to HIM and understand it is HE that comforts, leads and directs our path.

The entitlement spoken of now has happened because we aren’t allowing people to experience the normal pains of life. We have to, parents have to, you have to…….. walk the way of discomfort and conflict. It won’t be with you always, but it will be the gauge to your growth and the avenue to truly know God. My story……..full of pain, hurts, disappointments and bad choices. BUT, having to face those feelings has given me the most amazing gift, I don’t have to be afraid when it happens. God has proven to never let me down, never leave me and HE is always faithful in believing in me. My parents may not always be here, my children they will have their lives, and friends are facing life as well. Because I was allowed to feel the conflict, I processed the struggles and decisions and looked up to God to hold me through them all. With each moment and experience, my mosaic pieces are making life brighter and bigger.

Recently I have had some major milestones happen in my life. In a 30 day period my only daughter got married and my father, who married my daughter and her husband, suddenly passed away. What???? I went from a time of celebratory completion of a mother’s time with her daughter to the shock of my father’s life suddenly completed.

The truth is, I’m not the only person feeling this, our world “Doesn’t Look The Same”! I used to believe my parents were exaggerating when they told me times were different when they were growing up. Here I am, not just looking at my personal life being altered, but I don’t even recognize the world I live in. Where did the life I grew up in go? Honestly, it has been slowly changing as I have been trying to seek who and what I am supposed to be in it. It wasn’t until my life, my world, suddenly received its own personal earthquake that I stopped and truly paid attention to what was going on around me.

This isn’t political, it isn’t about sports, entertainment or even all of our rights, this is a spiritual battle. We are living in a world today where those who came before us and paved a way, truly sacrificing so we could have a voice, aren’t respected or honored. Social media is filled with the constant opinions of those who have lost compassion and have forgotten none are perfect and we all need God’s grace and mercy. When I see Christians take their political rage out and help to facilitate hate and division, I weep. Where is our love?

Losing my father confirmed in me it s time to stick to my post…. I am just one of the next generation that is to mentor, lead, comfort, guide and love those trying to understand “life”. It’s not going to be easy, those who know God and have convictions, we are the minority. We are demanded to accept everyone else’s choices but be silent in our own. I don’t have to shove what I believe at you, but I WILL LIVE IT before you. I will love you where you are and see you how God sees you, until you see who you are!

We are waking up to the realization that the groundwork has not been set with those coming behind us. Our world has given them technology, opportunities and freedoms that generations before us have never experienced. We have spoken to their “self”, their pride and given them a sense of false hope because it doesn’t have staying power. We must pour into them compassion, humility, selflessness, giving, honor, respect, peace, joy, hope, faith and most of all love. Back in my day…… the fruit of the spirit.

There are times in our lives that we face the ultimate test of what it means to honestly surrender ourselves to God. We surrender many times because we have made a mess of our lives and we need God to take back control of the mess. There are the surrenders we are willing to submit to because we need God to do something for us. There is a surrender that we eventually come to in life, the one or ones we don’t like to think about. I’m talking about the surrenders that hurt so bad, make no sense, and seem to contradict what God has even promised to us! The conflicts that leave you numb and quiet, the surrenders where there is no more conversation or fight and no more self discernment.

We sing “I Surrender All” when we accept Jesus into our lives, and we think this is where it all changes, where God flips the switch in us and we will always do what HE wills. Life is not that way. God is not that way.  HE is a God who gives us the freedom of choice, we get to choose between life choices and death or destructive choices. As we grow in understanding how much God loves us, we start to realize HE expects us to make more mature decisions and become more like HIM. That’s all good and fine with most of us, until the choices HE sets before us may cause us to delay our dreams or let go of them all together. I have found the closer I walk with God, the less my life looks the way I thought it would!

Yes, I have admitted it, my life looks nothing like I saw it in my “young mind”! This journey has taken me over, under, through, around, and even knocked the wind out of me! Some things were because of my choices, but as I grow older, many things I have experienced were because HE expects more surrender from me. We have heard people say,”be careful what you ask for in prayer”… it’s true, with most requests, and desire to grow, surrender seems to be the requirement to see God’s will manifest in our lives.

It is an uncomfortable place surrender. It is a posture of true humility and one’s resolve to please the one who knows us best, God. Surrender isn’t a cowards word, it is an act of strength which says, as I lay my opinion, dream, desire, fear, relationship, and life down, I trust God to give me the strength to walk in what lies ahead. The discomfort is only the awareness to the fact we are growing, and God is stretching and enlarging what HE has for us to do and be for HIM. You may not like where you are or what is being required of you now, but God will only bring you to the place mentally,emotionally and physically where HE desires you to be. Surrender is what Jesus did for us, can we not do that for him?

The bible says “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from The Lord”. Notice he is suppose to “find”… I don’t think too many men are even looking!

As I have mentioned before, there are too many women doing this thing called life, alone and weary. We can’t completely blame the men alone, we have enabled them and made it too easy for them to have what they want and never fully walk in their responsability. Trust me, I fully understand the need to prove we are good women, but the perks that come with a good woman come with a commitment! The truth is, as long as we settle for less then we deserve, men will never strive to be better.

i truly believe because women as a whole don’t see their value, men are not looking or even holding out for a respectable and good woman. It is unfortunate because that in itself, backfires on men because they never see their full worth and value if they don’t find that “good woman”. There is a divine principle that God has put in place for couples, and that is HIS favor! When a man finds a “good woman”, God’s favor falls on them both! With God’s favor, there is health, prosperity, peace and vision for a family to make a difference.

I encourage all women to be strong and allow God to undergird you as you wait on the right man to come into your life. Men, do yourself a favor, and search. Listen and really take the time to get to know a woman, a good woman. The world has valued the wrong things… Sex, looks, outward everything. What makes a woman good is on the inside… Compassion, confidence, love, kindness, encouragement, gentleness, etc. Men, how many of those women have you overlooked on your journey? We must stop using the world as a reference and live what we believe! Ladies it’s time to be that example of “good” and be that diamond a man is searching for. Men, want more for yourself then the physical… Your looks will fade and so will hers, what you have left is the substance for greatness and God’s favor is what guides you in your journey together.

I pen this today, hoping men will read this and take a moment to digest. I write, not to bash, abuse or disrespect the male gender, but to hopefully encourage and spark the God given gift in every man to be all God has for him to be.

I have been a faithful believer in the role and dynamic of the male in my life and in the lives of other women across this nation. I have never given up on the beauty of the male/female relationship, or the “power” this duo can bring to a world in need of love, guidance and leadership. I have been a wife, still mentoring a daughter, still encouraging sons, and have been in the “single” category for quite some time now. I have had conversations with men, listened to my daughter’s experiences and observed my sons as they grow as men. I have come to a chilling revelation…Men, have deferred their strength to women and handed us the leadership role more than we are graced for!

Yes, we women have been given an amazing gift of strength and endurance, a gift that can only be given to us by a God who loves us and believes in us. We should thank HIM daily for the grace and wisdom HE gives us for every situation that comes our way. The fact that we get through these situations without them actually destroying us, that is the miracle of being a woman! But the truth is so many young women and “seasoned” women are physically and mentally being attacked for lack of male leadership or spiritual covering by men. The bible says that we women are the weaker vessel, that doesn’t mean we have no purpose or value, and I am not here to debate equalization of men and women, this is from a God perspective. We are to be seen as one who needs to be secured, mentally and emotionally protected and valued as a gift. Eve was a gift to Adam, a gift to help him “take dominion” and multiply! We are very important to Gods plan.

Today there is an absence of male strength. I do not entirely blame the men, we wanted to prove we could do it just as well, they gave us the chance and now we are doing it for ourselves! Open your own door, walk yourself to the car, handle your own, now men let us do it ourselves! We baby our grown sons, enable them to depend on us just so we can feel needed… Not your sons place, he is not your Adam!  We pushed men away and now we are seeing we are not always wired to do it alone!

Physically and mentally we need that strong refuge. If we are not married, God is our husband, but if we want marriage, that man should be spiritually and mentally strong enough to extend that security. Through conversations and my own experiences, there is a shortage out there. Men spend more time primping then women. They have handed over the “uncomfortable” and “challenging” to their spouses or have decided to not entagle themselves in what they call “drama”, therefore never dating beyond hello. Life and what life has become is too much for many men and therefore women are doing it alone.

God, how many more challenges must come my way before I see some progress? To be perfectly honest, I have asked this question frequently in the past few weeks. I am realizing that “my ideas and my comfort” doesn’t seem to be Gods top priority right now! I know there are many of you with the same mindset because I have spoken to several . There seems to be a strategic plan God is allowing to happen in our lives and that is the removal of all crutches! The systems and constants that have been in our lives, God is shaking or removing them.

it is natural for us to throw little “spiritual temper tantrums”, some actual tantrums, but God is doing this for our own good. We are HIS children who have had our spiritual training wheels on and now HE is saying enough! HE loves us too much to be enabled by systems, a paycheck, a relationship, or even our pastor! How will we know how strong we are in God if we never see how we can stand?

Some of us have been Christians for a long time and we still depend on the pastor every week to convince us we can make it! God wants us to know and see HE has given us every tool and every promise in HIS bible to deal with the life we are navigating through. What good parent wouldn’t want to see their children grow up and think for themselves? God loves us that much to make us grow up and see how gifted we truly are in HIM.

I know it can feel frightening and unsettling when people, jobs, and things change around us, but God is in it all. There are places and people ordained for you to see and meet. Jobs that are becoming available because they need the gifting in you! We have yet to see what God wants to do through us and with us. The good news is HE promises to give us “peace that passes all understanding” and with HIS peace we can endure any change that may come our way! HE is a good parent that knows your fears and knows your interests. The truth is we are actually seeing how much we need God in our lives now, but it’s time to do it as an adult child! No more arguing, no more questions, just stepping out without the crutch and seeing how amazing we are to God and to a world that needs what we have!

Truth has stared me down and now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I have no control! For some odd reason we fight for control from a very young age. We defiantly battle our parents as toddlers, challenge our teachers during adolescence, and as puberty sets in the games begin in relationships! We give it many names, immaturity, defense mechanism, problem solving, but the truth is we are trying to gain or maintain control.

As I look around my life today, there is not one thing that is in control! Everything around me has loose ends, unresolved issues, undefined relationships and there is not one thing I can do about any of it! Maybe this resembles your life too? How has it gotten to this place, when I have done everything God has instructed me to do and I’m living my life as upright as can be? Perhaps it may be “allowed” by God, just to get you back to where HE wants you or to maneuver you to the strategic place HE has for you?

We often believe we are supposed to smooth out all of the rough spots and fix every dis-jointed situation. Uncomfortable to us signifies there must be a problem we must fix, but God may be using uncomfortable to move the wrong things out of your life. HE may be trying to get you to stop thinking. Many times in our “doing good”, we can over think, get in the way, and even hinder our own growth or someone else’s. We don’t really step back and look at the bigger picture. Being still is a challenge for me, as well as most people in our world today. We are constantly trying to entertain ourselves, keep doing so we won’t be called lazy, or just move so we won’t be left with our own thoughts! Being still is what most of us avoid.

When we are being still, it means we are trusting that God has ALL this CHAOS under control and HE is directing our way. We are giving up control of the obvious problems and the things we cannot do. As we do that, HE will tear down what needs to go and bring to us what is necessary. The bible says “The steps of the righteous man are ordered”, that means the good ones and the bad ones too! HE never leaves us unattended or orphaned, our steps are guided by HIM. To not be “in control”, means we give God absolute control of our lives. HE knows us best and our lives best, I guess it’s time to exhale and see where this goes!