Looking at life through my “grown up” eyes is an ever evolving and always changing thing. Truthfully, I am where I NEVER thought or imagined I would be. The life I am living, has the mosaic pieces of everything I have lived until now, placed in the most amazing and colorful ways.

I grew up before social media, and cell phones were not affordable until I already started having my family. Communication as a teen and young adult, it was based on trust. Your parents believed you were where you said you were and curfews were hopefully obeyed. Did we do that, not always but there were consequences to not doing as you were told.

As I made choices and my life inevitably had to “own up” to those choices, my parents allowed me to face or deal with the results. Was it easy? NO! Comfortable, heavens no, but necessary, so necessary. The absence of social media and easy access didn’t allow my parents to hover or stalk my every move. I had to learn to deal with conflict and disappointment, which in turn made me see how I truly needed God in my life.

We are all familiar with how a caterpillar is in a cocoon and when it’s time for it to become a butterfly, the struggle begins. No one is there to assist. The caterpillar’s battle is real and I’m sure at times it must feel as if it won’t survive. It presses through the discomfort and when it emerges……. the beauty overshadows the struggle. The caterpillar can now “be” what it was meant to be, a beautiful butterfly. Why do we as parents, friends, mentors and leaders interfere with another’s caterpillar moment?

I am a parent, a mentor, a friend, a sister, a coworker……. I am faced daily with how much do I help. Our world says “how can you ignore?” “How can you turn your head?” I get it, we have lost the recognition of the importance of tension and conflict. A mother knows it’s time to push when the contractions are coming endlessly. It’s time to go to the dentist when your face has swollen and the throbbing is beyond compare. You know to stop eating when your clothes no longer fit. Tension and conflict signal to us it’s time to make choices/ decisions and own them! Why do we make excuses or compensate for bad behavior, selfishness and disrespect? These conflict facing moments prompt us to see we are not enough in ourselves and we need to look up. What an injustice I do to my own children to answer all the issues and fix the problem and shield them from life. I would be making them co-dependent on me, so therefore I would have to be their life support. When I’m gone, they would implode! We are living in a world today where codependency is the norm, disguised as compassion and unconditional love.

We must ask ourselves, how much do I help and where do I allow them to feel the discomfort. Anxiety has become rampant because we have soothed away the honest feeling of conflict and pain. Anxiety is the feeling that paralyzes us when we are afraid of something we don’t know or don’t like. We have kept children, friends, relatives, co workers away from the thing necessary to grow up, all in the name of making it better. These are emotions necessary to grow and cause us to develop the skills to live beyond the dependence of another human. God intended for us to feel our conflicts and despair and turn to HIM and understand it is HE that comforts, leads and directs our path.

The entitlement spoken of now has happened because we aren’t allowing people to experience the normal pains of life. We have to, parents have to, you have to…….. walk the way of discomfort and conflict. It won’t be with you always, but it will be the gauge to your growth and the avenue to truly know God. My story……..full of pain, hurts, disappointments and bad choices. BUT, having to face those feelings has given me the most amazing gift, I don’t have to be afraid when it happens. God has proven to never let me down, never leave me and HE is always faithful in believing in me. My parents may not always be here, my children they will have their lives, and friends are facing life as well. Because I was allowed to feel the conflict, I processed the struggles and decisions and looked up to God to hold me through them all. With each moment and experience, my mosaic pieces are making life brighter and bigger.

Recently I have had some major milestones happen in my life. In a 30 day period my only daughter got married and my father, who married my daughter and her husband, suddenly passed away. What???? I went from a time of celebratory completion of a mother’s time with her daughter to the shock of my father’s life suddenly completed.

The truth is, I’m not the only person feeling this, our world “Doesn’t Look The Same”! I used to believe my parents were exaggerating when they told me times were different when they were growing up. Here I am, not just looking at my personal life being altered, but I don’t even recognize the world I live in. Where did the life I grew up in go? Honestly, it has been slowly changing as I have been trying to seek who and what I am supposed to be in it. It wasn’t until my life, my world, suddenly received its own personal earthquake that I stopped and truly paid attention to what was going on around me.

This isn’t political, it isn’t about sports, entertainment or even all of our rights, this is a spiritual battle. We are living in a world today where those who came before us and paved a way, truly sacrificing so we could have a voice, aren’t respected or honored. Social media is filled with the constant opinions of those who have lost compassion and have forgotten none are perfect and we all need God’s grace and mercy. When I see Christians take their political rage out and help to facilitate hate and division, I weep. Where is our love?

Losing my father confirmed in me it s time to stick to my post…. I am just one of the next generation that is to mentor, lead, comfort, guide and love those trying to understand “life”. It’s not going to be easy, those who know God and have convictions, we are the minority. We are demanded to accept everyone else’s choices but be silent in our own. I don’t have to shove what I believe at you, but I WILL LIVE IT before you. I will love you where you are and see you how God sees you, until you see who you are!

We are waking up to the realization that the groundwork has not been set with those coming behind us. Our world has given them technology, opportunities and freedoms that generations before us have never experienced. We have spoken to their “self”, their pride and given them a sense of false hope because it doesn’t have staying power. We must pour into them compassion, humility, selflessness, giving, honor, respect, peace, joy, hope, faith and most of all love. Back in my day…… the fruit of the spirit.