The bible says “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from The Lord”. Notice he is suppose to “find”… I don’t think too many men are even looking!

As I have mentioned before, there are too many women doing this thing called life, alone and weary. We can’t completely blame the men alone, we have enabled them and made it too easy for them to have what they want and never fully walk in their responsability. Trust me, I fully understand the need to prove we are good women, but the perks that come with a good woman come with a commitment! The truth is, as long as we settle for less then we deserve, men will never strive to be better.

i truly believe because women as a whole don’t see their value, men are not looking or even holding out for a respectable and good woman. It is unfortunate because that in itself, backfires on men because they never see their full worth and value if they don’t find that “good woman”. There is a divine principle that God has put in place for couples, and that is HIS favor! When a man finds a “good woman”, God’s favor falls on them both! With God’s favor, there is health, prosperity, peace and vision for a family to make a difference.

I encourage all women to be strong and allow God to undergird you as you wait on the right man to come into your life. Men, do yourself a favor, and search. Listen and really take the time to get to know a woman, a good woman. The world has valued the wrong things… Sex, looks, outward everything. What makes a woman good is on the inside… Compassion, confidence, love, kindness, encouragement, gentleness, etc. Men, how many of those women have you overlooked on your journey? We must stop using the world as a reference and live what we believe! Ladies it’s time to be that example of “good” and be that diamond a man is searching for. Men, want more for yourself then the physical… Your looks will fade and so will hers, what you have left is the substance for greatness and God’s favor is what guides you in your journey together.

I pen this today, hoping men will read this and take a moment to digest. I write, not to bash, abuse or disrespect the male gender, but to hopefully encourage and spark the God given gift in every man to be all God has for him to be.

I have been a faithful believer in the role and dynamic of the male in my life and in the lives of other women across this nation. I have never given up on the beauty of the male/female relationship, or the “power” this duo can bring to a world in need of love, guidance and leadership. I have been a wife, still mentoring a daughter, still encouraging sons, and have been in the “single” category for quite some time now. I have had conversations with men, listened to my daughter’s experiences and observed my sons as they grow as men. I have come to a chilling revelation…Men, have deferred their strength to women and handed us the leadership role more than we are graced for!

Yes, we women have been given an amazing gift of strength and endurance, a gift that can only be given to us by a God who loves us and believes in us. We should thank HIM daily for the grace and wisdom HE gives us for every situation that comes our way. The fact that we get through these situations without them actually destroying us, that is the miracle of being a woman! But the truth is so many young women and “seasoned” women are physically and mentally being attacked for lack of male leadership or spiritual covering by men. The bible says that we women are the weaker vessel, that doesn’t mean we have no purpose or value, and I am not here to debate equalization of men and women, this is from a God perspective. We are to be seen as one who needs to be secured, mentally and emotionally protected and valued as a gift. Eve was a gift to Adam, a gift to help him “take dominion” and multiply! We are very important to Gods plan.

Today there is an absence of male strength. I do not entirely blame the men, we wanted to prove we could do it just as well, they gave us the chance and now we are doing it for ourselves! Open your own door, walk yourself to the car, handle your own, now men let us do it ourselves! We baby our grown sons, enable them to depend on us just so we can feel needed… Not your sons place, he is not your Adam!  We pushed men away and now we are seeing we are not always wired to do it alone!

Physically and mentally we need that strong refuge. If we are not married, God is our husband, but if we want marriage, that man should be spiritually and mentally strong enough to extend that security. Through conversations and my own experiences, there is a shortage out there. Men spend more time primping then women. They have handed over the “uncomfortable” and “challenging” to their spouses or have decided to not entagle themselves in what they call “drama”, therefore never dating beyond hello. Life and what life has become is too much for many men and therefore women are doing it alone.

God, how many more challenges must come my way before I see some progress? To be perfectly honest, I have asked this question frequently in the past few weeks. I am realizing that “my ideas and my comfort” doesn’t seem to be Gods top priority right now! I know there are many of you with the same mindset because I have spoken to several . There seems to be a strategic plan God is allowing to happen in our lives and that is the removal of all crutches! The systems and constants that have been in our lives, God is shaking or removing them.

it is natural for us to throw little “spiritual temper tantrums”, some actual tantrums, but God is doing this for our own good. We are HIS children who have had our spiritual training wheels on and now HE is saying enough! HE loves us too much to be enabled by systems, a paycheck, a relationship, or even our pastor! How will we know how strong we are in God if we never see how we can stand?

Some of us have been Christians for a long time and we still depend on the pastor every week to convince us we can make it! God wants us to know and see HE has given us every tool and every promise in HIS bible to deal with the life we are navigating through. What good parent wouldn’t want to see their children grow up and think for themselves? God loves us that much to make us grow up and see how gifted we truly are in HIM.

I know it can feel frightening and unsettling when people, jobs, and things change around us, but God is in it all. There are places and people ordained for you to see and meet. Jobs that are becoming available because they need the gifting in you! We have yet to see what God wants to do through us and with us. The good news is HE promises to give us “peace that passes all understanding” and with HIS peace we can endure any change that may come our way! HE is a good parent that knows your fears and knows your interests. The truth is we are actually seeing how much we need God in our lives now, but it’s time to do it as an adult child! No more arguing, no more questions, just stepping out without the crutch and seeing how amazing we are to God and to a world that needs what we have!

Truth has stared me down and now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I have no control! For some odd reason we fight for control from a very young age. We defiantly battle our parents as toddlers, challenge our teachers during adolescence, and as puberty sets in the games begin in relationships! We give it many names, immaturity, defense mechanism, problem solving, but the truth is we are trying to gain or maintain control.

As I look around my life today, there is not one thing that is in control! Everything around me has loose ends, unresolved issues, undefined relationships and there is not one thing I can do about any of it! Maybe this resembles your life too? How has it gotten to this place, when I have done everything God has instructed me to do and I’m living my life as upright as can be? Perhaps it may be “allowed” by God, just to get you back to where HE wants you or to maneuver you to the strategic place HE has for you?

We often believe we are supposed to smooth out all of the rough spots and fix every dis-jointed situation. Uncomfortable to us signifies there must be a problem we must fix, but God may be using uncomfortable to move the wrong things out of your life. HE may be trying to get you to stop thinking. Many times in our “doing good”, we can over think, get in the way, and even hinder our own growth or someone else’s. We don’t really step back and look at the bigger picture. Being still is a challenge for me, as well as most people in our world today. We are constantly trying to entertain ourselves, keep doing so we won’t be called lazy, or just move so we won’t be left with our own thoughts! Being still is what most of us avoid.

When we are being still, it means we are trusting that God has ALL this CHAOS under control and HE is directing our way. We are giving up control of the obvious problems and the things we cannot do. As we do that, HE will tear down what needs to go and bring to us what is necessary. The bible says “The steps of the righteous man are ordered”, that means the good ones and the bad ones too! HE never leaves us unattended or orphaned, our steps are guided by HIM. To not be “in control”, means we give God absolute control of our lives. HE knows us best and our lives best, I guess it’s time to exhale and see where this goes!

There is a gift God has given, that has in time been forgotten how precious it truly is. This gift is one that starts as something hidden, that with time illuminates in brilliance. It is a gift that without it, many would have fallen and given up long ago.

It is a gift that has to be taken time with, listened to and understood. When you do that, the benefits can be overwhelming and compared to none. This gift, given time, experience and wisdom, can be priceless in value and something that cannot be replaced. When this gift is in the right hands, Gods love can be seen and felt through the very essence of the gift.

Unfortunately many of these gifts have been neglected and misplaced. The result, people see it as no longer a gift, it has become invalid. The truth is, if this gift was recognized it would find it’s value. If we would take this gift from the very beginning and nurture it from the start, the world would be full of many brilliant diamonds.

This gift I so highly speak of is the gift of “woman”. As a woman I am honored that God made me one! But as a woman, I see the woman God speaks of in the bible has become scarce! The bible says “He that findeth a wife findeth a GOOD thing and obtains favor from the Lord”. A woman is a good thing, if she knows she is a good thing, but she must be instructed in that from the beginning.

We, as women, are a gift to men, our children and even other women. When we recognize we are diamonds, not gaudy rhinestones, but diamonds…. we won’t throw ourselves just anywhere! When we allow God to show us who we are, we confidently will go to the places and people we were meant to reach. Some of us are meant to reach the business world, but with class and character, to teach a dying world about hope. Others will be wives and mothers, nurturing the lives of young diamonds and young men who need to be taught how to recognize a diamond. Wives, you are a pillar of strength to your husband, he would be lost without you. Your gift brings stability, love and wisdom which gives him the confidence and the platform to be the man God wants him to be.

There are women, young and old who need to be encouraged as to who they are. We must be aware of the gift that is next to us at work, the daughters we are raising, and men, the woman  you are married to! We, as believers, must take the responsibility to groom and cultivate these young gifts, and ones that were never told they were a gift.

God gave Adam a gift , someone to be a “help meet” and to walk beside him in all that he did. God gifted women the strength to be able to endure and the ability to communicate and in those words, create an atmosphere for hope, peace and love. If you are a woman, know this, you are an amazing gift, a priceless diamond that just needs the right place to shine. Men, if you are married, your wife is your gift, your door to favor and something to be cherished. Single men, don’t settle for immitation, for if you want to be the man God wants you to be, only the gift of a diamond will do. It is time for this world to be gifted with the brilliant sparkle of beautiful diamonds we call women!

There are situations and people who have been set before you and you have a decision to make. For some of you, you only have a moment to think about it and for others, it is about completely surrendering your own agenda!

We are living in a time where decisions must be made and those decisions are directly connected to where God will move you and place you in your destiny. There are acts of obedience that are tied into how and when you will see the manifestation of your promise. God is wanting to deal with HIS children as mature, confident and “knowing HIM” kind of children. When your own children reach a certain age, you don’t want to have to explain everything, by then they should know you, trust you and obediently respond to your directives! That is how God is dealing with us now…. Be quick to hear and quick to act! Darkness and hopelessness are increasing daily. We are the ones God uses to reach the broken. To love the unloved and be an example to the motherless and fatherless. The bible says God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek HIM… as we seek HIS commands and obediently respond, there can’t help but be a reward for us when we act in obedience.

i encourage you to be sensitive to who and what is going on around you. It may be a choice, a selfless act, a financial involvement or even being still, but God is there in it! People may not understand, in fact, they may be more then willing to give you their opinion, but this is between you and God! Step out and take the challenge to trust God and see where these opportunities will lead you. Don’t be afraid, watch and see how God will use you! Obedience is always rewarded, and when you walk in it, you will see God move on your behalf!

We are so quick to give an opinion and to tell someone what they must do, but do we ever consider we may be part of the answer? I remember when I was younger, we went to church every Sunday and my parents taught us the principles of God. We were at youth group, and Sunday school every week. We heard ALL the teachings and words spoken. But the thing that stands out the most to me was something my mother did…….

One Saturday morning she gathered us children and we drove over to a needy family’s home. It was a small home , scarcely furnished and you could tell they didn’t have much. They had a few children , close to the ages of my siblings and I. My mother loaded everyone in the station wagon and we were off to do something they hadn’t done. My mother took them to get shoes and a few items of clothing and we ended it with lunch at a fast food restaurant. I will never forget how those kids and mother blossomed that day! What was a regular event for us became a special day for that mother and her children! They were not church goers, nor did they know what I knew, but what they felt that day was real, real love and concern for their needs and their worth!

I learned something very important that day, words are not enough….. That family wasn’t at church, they were not going to hear a message, we were Gods message of love to them. As I look around today, I see how distant we are from people and the hurt that is really in their lives. We are quick to speak things to others but maybe just maybe God may use us to help them to an answer. It is time for us to be a little more selfless and regain the heart of a servant. We were not a wealthy family, but what my mother did meant so much to that family. Just that one day gave them a sense of value and worth and let them know someone cared. Jesus was more than words that day, He became an action.

We must look beyond our own afflictions and stop leaving it to the pastors and ministers to reach a hurting world! Don’t be so quick to judge, but for the Grace of God , we all could face horrible situations. Truth is , some of us have and we are left standing so we can be the human representation of Gods love and concern for those in need.

I believe this year God will bring people across your path so you can be the “more than words”. You have such an important role in bringing people to knowing God and HIS love. Be sensative to the hurting around you and ask God what you can do to help. Our actions make HIM real to a dying world, look beyond, it’s up to you to share HIS love.

Lately I have been blessed to spend some time with different young women and I am seeing a pattern developing, no one is instructing. There was a time when we could assume young people were being taught and instructed but not anymore. Society has scared off those who would stand for right and wrong and now anything goes. We have stopped disciplining and instructing and now our young people have no vision or direction.

In my conversations I realized these girls needed instruction in life. We cannot be so ignorant to assume they had God-fearing, interactive parents who led and taught by example. We are living in a society today full of the children of broken parents. These young people are drowning in the fear of rejection, abandonment and hopelessness! They have never experienced unconditional love so they live in a conditional reality!

I have never felt the need like this before. It has become an epidemic of loneliness and despair. We must get past ourselves and our own issues and look what is around us. I was blessed with a loving family, not perfect, but a family that taught principles and instructed me as part of something that mattered. I in turn poured into my family, no it wasn’t perfect, but I secured and nurtured my children to know they mattered and were loved.

We have a world filled with orphans of all ages. Not necessarily without parents but without mentors to instruct and secure their life’s journey. Those of us who have been blessed, either by natural parents or friends , family or even our own mentors, it’s time for us to become the mentor. Perfection is not required, just the willingness to be vulnerable to instruct someone who can see hope through your story! If you have overcome obstacles and learned from your mistakes, you can share with someone , so that they may gain wisdom from your life.

The life lessons that were the most painful are usually the ones that can help someone the most. You may think you have nothing to contribute, your not smart enough, spiritual enough, or just not good enough….. Nonsense! We learned from others and from our mistakes. We now need to be transparent enough to plant the seeds of wisdom and hope into the ones who have become sickly and jaded.

We are Gods tools here on earth. We are HIS example of HIS love to a hurting world. Now that you have become stronger and more resilient in your journey, pause and see whom God has brought across your path. Age doesn’t make you a mentor, learning from life and gaining Gods answers to life’s challenges, you are one who can testify to HIS goodness!

We must stop and look around, we are losing people everyday to hopelessness and despair. The bible says ,” My people parish for lack of knowledge”. We are living examples of Gods word and His ways. Be selfless, share with someone who is scared, hurting or needing some good advice. You are important to God, HE needs your sacrifice to reach HIS children that need to know they are not alone!

Change, it’s one of the hardest things for most people to do! We establish routine, habits and stick with what we know…….. Even to our own destruction. As we get older it becomes even harder to break habits, routine or even let go of the familiar! We all have been groomed under different circumstances , some good , some bad, but changing with the seasons is mandatory!

This year is like one we have never known before. The systems of this world are failing one by one and there is nothing that looks like it used to look! How is it that we can update our phones with each new one introduced but we fail to update ourselves?! We are more disciplined in keeping up with new technology then we are at keeping up with bettering ourselves!

When we are younger there are certain behaviors we are shown mercy to in our discipline. As we get older those behaviors are not looked upon the same way……. We should know better! The same holds true as growing Christians and people who want their lives to be better. It’s time for a CHANGE! Some of you are experiencing difficulty because God expects your actions and ways to change now. He was merciful as you grew and learned, but some of us are frustrating our forward progress! It can be as simple as an attitude adjustment…… Stop seeing life as a victim and use what you have been through to teach someone else. For some, it’s the wrong friends… they don’t think like you and everytime you have an opportunity to go forward, they pull you to where they have chosen to stay. Maybe you need to look at where you have become complacent…are you content with less than you are capable of doing or handeling?

We often get upset with God and try to blame others for our lack of progress or promotion, when it could quite simply be us, not open to change. If we believe God can open doors and bring divine connections to us, how can He if we are stuck in the same mentality refusing to be open to change?

I encourage you to start this year by taking time to examine where you have you stopped being open to newness. Have you stopped being teachable? Do you refuse to hear anyone else’s opinion? Do you end up with the same results time after time and say” it’s just not my time yet!”? I think it may be time to open up to the change God has in store for you! He knows exactly what you need to look like and act like to fulfill HIS promises to you!

There are people who are counting on you to make those changes in your life! The decisions you make will be the learning tool you will share with others as you go on life’s journey. We must change so others will have the hope for a better way. Your discomfort in the change will be but only a moment in the spectrum of what lies in store for you! God will give you the grace and peace needed while you are making these changes. He said HIS grace is sufficient and HE will lead you in this NEW way you are going! Change doesn’t have to be a bad word….. It can actually mean hope, you can change into a better person and walk in a better place!

The celebration is over, the holidays are done and now you are faced with the reality of what is in front of you. You are armed with a promise and you have been encouraged that this year will be different, and full of new things! Now you must take that first step! I know after all of the hype settles, the sound of the voice within starts to chip away at your confident beginning. The ideas and plans that seemed achievable, the unresolved issues that could be fixed, now it’s getting fuzzy and the doubt and fear are creeping in! That first step toward your promise is the hardest! It may involve a move, a job change, a conversation or even a good-bye. Taking the first step is definitely one of the hardest life changing decisions you will ever make. I know, I have been there and am there now. These are the times when absolute TRUST in God is a must! Human reasoning cannot comprehend what our God has in store for us. If we try to figure out HIS ways, we can get in the way of how HE wants to do something. There are times we must literally say, I don’t feel it, see it or understand it but I am going to move forward and trust you God! This first step takes a mature mindset that says God knows best, so I will not lean to my own understanding. Picture this, you are standing on the top of a cliff and God says jump…… You see nothing but only hear HIS command. It is then that you must jump and trust HIS hand is there to catch you! This is where we are….. The first step, the hardest, but the step that will change the course of where you are and where you are going. This new journey is just beginning, and if we will simply step out and take the first step, God will meet us and gird up the weak places in our faith.